that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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