Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
