Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
