I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize