Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
