I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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