Screwed.edu
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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