It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
