I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
