now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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