Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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