Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
