You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
