my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
