So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Don't tell me you're on acid again
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
