It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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