You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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