I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
