it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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