If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
