the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
