we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
