i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
