Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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