I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize