I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
