yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We need a shit load of segways right now
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize