she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
