no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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