i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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