Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We have started to decorate penises.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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