I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
