He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
