you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
