btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
