Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
