i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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