i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
