dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
