It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
