This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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