I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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