yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
