and you said cock pushups were impossible
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
