my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
