i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
