so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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