This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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