"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
