It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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