You're my little dorito
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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