did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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