You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
