Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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