It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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