You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
did you just send me my own nude
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
