so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
we're so committed to being not committed
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
