You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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