im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
