he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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