i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
